CURRENT SITUATION: The virtual events each month, meeting on Zoom, continue. And we have ‘in real life’ London events as well: next one 4th December, 3-6 pm, see below. There are posts about “Covid-19 and how it does not affect HSV” and “the anti-COVID-19 vaccines and herpes” on our news page.

Do you have herpes? Join us on ZOOM

The informal chat meetings are on the first Saturday of the month and one mid-month on a weekday evening – all are welcome. (For members only, we have a ‘learning day’ on the topic of getting you confident about talking to a new partner’. See Assurance Day below -‘assurance’ because it gives you the assurance to talk with confidence!)

Saturday ‘virtual drop-ins’ – December 4th from 12 noon till 2.00pm, and then first Saturday every month. But in January 2022 it will be 8th Jan. (And see below for the real-life event in London on Dec 4th.)

If you prefer a weekday evening, join us on Thursday, December 16th, from 6.30 to 8.30 pm. Check back for the dates next year…

Drop in when you wish, leave when you wish… You don’t need to talk, you don’t need to turn on your video if you don’t want to. But remember you will be with ‘friends’ who have it too and understand.

If you are interested, email the host, Marian, at [email protected], headed “virtual event” and say which date you want to join. She will send you the link for the Zoom event. She can answer any questions you might have…

Here is what a person on one of these Zoom events said:

“It was one of the few perks of the Covid situation for me, you moved the meetings to Zoom – so I was able to join the support group chat online!! It really was very useful and such a massive relief to finally meet other people in the same situation (other than the ex). I know you exist, but meeting you makes a whole world of difference, you know?!”

Lady, 28 yrs.

Another comment:

“I don’t know how to describe it…it was a relief, acceptance, etc.”

Lady, about 35 yrs.

And a 57 year old lady has said:

“Don’t sit battling your feelings about herpes on your own, come and join our Zoom meeting and meet others, who have the same diagnosis, and chat and share your experiences or just listen. It’s not so scary, honest.

It’s given me a new confidence having met with lovely people from different backgrounds and different parts of the world who have the same condition as I have and are coping with it. We discuss our fears, feelings, symptoms and medication and how we have told partners. The HVA team are down to earth and honest and have put myths to rest. Its helping me to feel normal… As we all are by the way. Oh and we can also have a laugh as well.”

And, yes, we do have men joining these virtual chats – join us!

In real life – meeting in public at last – London

Next one on Saturday, December 4th from 3 till 6 pm. (And then Saturday. 8th January.) We are very informal. We have found that we can discuss ‘it’ in public without anyone being aware we are a support group for genital herpes. People don’t take any notice when we talk about ‘h’ and spell out ‘s’ ‘e’ ‘x’.

The London Pub is in the Royal National Hotel, 38 Bedford Way, London WC1H 0DG. Turn left out of Russell Square tube, right at the traffic light into Bedford Way. The London Inn is 100 yards up the road on the left side. It is usually nice and empty – we can chat without fear of being overheard. We drink tea/coffee/wine/beer… Some of us go on to eat somewhere nearby after 6.00 pm. A picture of the outside:

Marian or another volunteer will put a Toblerone-shaped sign showing ‘SPHERE’, on the table. The booth just inside the door on the left is nice and big, so lots of us can join in the chat…

All of you are welcome to come and chat. Marian will stay at this event until 6.00 pm. No booking necessary, just turn up to talk… As long as you arrive before 6.00, we can go on chatting till all hours.

In October, we had 12 people who liked talking to each other so much, some of them continued on at various venues till 4 am (I am told!)

“Assurance Day” – next one end January – meanwhile come to the regular Zoom chats as we talk about this a lot.

This is the day you start to feel assured about how to tell a partner about your herpes. Contact [email protected]. This is for HVA members only. Click on members to become a member.

What We Do on the Assurance Day

You get a full day of curated events with three speakers who can offer all the answers. All the others attending will be as worried about it as you are… But like you, they want to move on.

Are you stuck at the stage where you “dump them if it looks like it is getting serious (because I dare not talk about my genital herpes)”? Do you say to yourself “Will anyone want to be with me now I have herpes?” Or “How do I tell someone I have herpes?” We have a solution:

At a recent event of this sort, members who attended gave us six perfect scores (100%) and one 80% for the day! This is a full day’s event (in 5 Zoom sessions) which we know give you the facts, the ideas and most importantly, the confidence about ‘how to tell someone I have herpes’. We discuss amongst ourselves the ‘where’ ‘when’ and ‘how’. We ask members what they would say to a person thinking about coming along. They say:

  • “Definitely worth attending! Even if you think you know all about herpes – helps you to feel more positive.”
  • “Do it sooner rather than later!” (Two people said this)
  • Well worth the money [£15 for the on-line day – usually £39 for the IRL day!]. Very good. Must do.
  • “Please attend the day as soon as you feel ready. I wish I had made the trip to London sooner… I think I would have had a more positive attitude towards sex, etc. over the last few years had I attended the study day sooner.”

About two months after one of these ‘Days’ a man who’d attended sent us a donation of £2,000. (Great!) He said: “because if I had not come to the event, I’d not have had the guts to date and talk about this with my new girlfriend. She’s my soulmate. This ‘Day’ has changed my life.

Around the country

There are people interested in having meetings in Leeds, Eastbourne, Bury, Coventry, Cardiff. Now that the situation allows meetings!

As one lady said after such an event “I could not have imagined how helpful it was to meet nice people who really understood!”

These social (and sometimes ‘support’) events occur in people’s homes and in pubs, cafes, etc. around the country. Members interested in getting a meeting going in their part of the country get full support from the HVA office. We even hope to join the first meeting ourselves, or send a helpline volunteer – someone trained to answer all factual questions.

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This page was last updated on 11-11-2021.